KYMM'S 365 DAY MOVIE CHALLENGE #48: A Christmas Carol (2019) A Christmas Carol (2009) The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

“Since I died I’ve been given no rest. I’ve been forced to watch the whores of this world. I whores I’m responsible for.”

(I’m pretty sure he was saying horrors, but that’s not what it sounded like!)

Hoo doggies, this next one is rough.

A Christmas Carol (2019) is a modern switched sex version where young and gorgeous Ellen Scrooge runs a pharmaceutical company that rips off sick people in order to make money, aka an ordinary pharmaceutical company.

This isn’t a terrible twist on the story, except that they clearly made an effort to only cast the worst actors they could find, and let us not speak of the quality of the script. It’s the kind of movie where a sister calls her sister, “Sister,” so that we know that they are sisters.

So, it has terrible actors and a terrible script, but did they use the money they saved on great special effect? Also, no.

I only made it through the whole thing because of this project, even though it’s only an hour and ten minutes long, every minute seemed like twenty. I did this for you. I hope you appreciate it.

“What reason have you to be merry? You’re poor enough.”

“What reason have you to be dismal? You’re rich enough.”

“Bah, humbug!”

Spun the wheel, and what came up but the Jim Carrey/Robert Zemeckis motion-capture animated version from 2009! “O no!” I cried, “Not TWO terrible versions in a row!” But I am a trooper and a Spartan and all other nouns for people who go above and beyond the call of duty, so I sat down to watch it. And the weird thing was that it is terrific! Who knew?

I’m serious, who knew? Did you know? Has everybody know that this is just a splendid version of A Christmas Carol, incredibly faithful to the book in ways few other versions are? Have you all kept this from me? Or is everyone like me all snooty about the early 2000s MoCap situation? Because if you love the story, this is absolutely one of the best versions out there and I’m so thrilled that I put myself in the position of having to watch it.

Yes, there are some uncanny valley issues, but only with the people who are supposed to look like regular people, like nephew Fred (Colin Firth), and since many of the characters look more cartoonish, like Scrooge himself, (Carrey), it’s not much of an issue at all. And if the light in the scene is dim or shadowed, even the ordinary ones look just fine.

Jim Carrey plays not only Scrooge himself, absolutely brilliantly, but the Ghosts as well. I read a theory that the point of that could be seen as Scrooge himself helping himself to grow, which makes an interesting kind of sense.

Zemeckis uses the animation to great effect in the ghostly and fantastical portions, though I frankly could’ve done without the whole chase with the undertaker carriage in the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come section. I don’t think that’s from the book, it certainly does not seem familiar, and it just seemed to be dragging out the movie for no good reason. But that is a small complaint about maybe seven minutes of the film, the rest is an absolute treat.

“The Marleys were dead, to begin with.”
“The wha…pardon me?”
“That’s how the story begins, Rizzo: The Marleys were dead, to begin with.”

“Oh.”

“As dead as a doornail.”

This next version I am entirely embarrassed to admit to never seeing. I am of the first Sesame Street generation, I’ve said it before and I’ll say again, probably more often than anybody ever wants to hear, I literally remember watching episode one. I watched every single episode of The Muppet show first run, including taping some on audio tape and listening to them over and over again, but for some unexplainable reason, I never saw The Muppet Christmas Carol.

This is all notwithstanding the fact that I am a huge fan of Michael Caine, adore the music of Paul Williams, and, I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, LOVE A CHRISTMAS CAROL BEYOND ALL MENTIONING! Still, never saw it in the past 29 years. Some things just cannot be explained by mortal man.

This version has lines not in any other one, because of the fact that it is the only version with Charles Dickens himself (Gonzo the Great) narrating, so they are able to get in “Darkness was cheap, and Scrooge liked it,” among others. It’s a treat for the Dickens nerds.

Michael Caine plays Scrooge, surrounded by Muppets, but as he said, he played it like he was playing opposite actors from the Royal Shakespeare Company, as serious as the grave, and that is why it works so well. He literally says, “This is Fozziwig’s old rubber chicken factory!” as though it isn’t a laugh line, but a completely straightforward thing to say.

I’ve read a lot about the whole When Love is Gone controversy. It seems that song, which is basically the entirety of the scene when Belle leaves Ebenezer, was removed from the original theatrical release, added back in for the VHS release, then removed again for the DVD and Blu-ray release. It isn’t in the Disney+ version, but it is there as an extra, so when you get to that scene, you can stop the movie and watch the song separately. This may be my first time seeing it, but without that song, poor Belle has almost nothing to do, and just stalks off with barely a word. The scene needs it. It will go back in for the 4K restoration.

It was originally removed by the producer because he felt it was too slow and too mature for young audiences. Of course, there is a similar song in that exact spot in the 1971 Albert Finney version, so clearly, that is a place where a song goes in a musical Christmas Carol. I’ll bet there is one in the Alan Menken version as well. We will find out in days to come.

This was the first Muppet movie after Jim Henson died, so I suppose they were trying to figure out exactly what was going to be happening with Kermit and they didn’t want to feature him as prominently as he would’ve been had Jim been alive. Because he’s rather back-burnered as Bob Cratchit, while Gonzo is right at the forefront of everything as Charles Dickens, plus way more Rizzo the Rat than anybody ever asked for in a general fashion.

However, with Kermit as Bob, you get Miss Piggy as Mrs. Cratchit and my all-time favourite Muppet, Robin, as Tiny Tim, which is terrific casting all around.

This is going straight onto my list to watch every year.

We will draw a veil over those 29 years where I was too foolish to watch it. I’m like Scrooge himself, I have learned a lesson to keep the Muppet Christmas Carol in my heart and celebrate it all the year round! And as Tiny Robin the Frog observed, God bless us, everyone!

Kymm Zuckert is an actor/writer/native Angelino. When Kymm was a child, her parents would take her to see anything, which means that sometimes she will see a film today and say, “I saw that when I was eight, I don’t remember any of that inappropriate sex stuff!” Check out her entire 365 day blog @ https://365filmsin365days.movie.blog