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KYMM'S 365 DAY MOVIE CHALLENGE #20: THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD (2021, dir by Patrick Hughes, USA)

The Hitman‘s Bodyguard was a movie that I planned to see, the trailer looked really good, but I never got around to it. Now there’s the sequel, The Hitman‘s Wife’s Bodyguard, which I also planned to see, and the trailer looks really good, and I did, in fact, get around to it. The question was, though, was I going to watch the first movie beforehand?

It got to be the day before we were going, and I decided against rushing to watch it first, just in case it turned out to be one of those movies where the sequel is exactly the same movie all over again, like Austin Powers, and why would I want to ruin the sequel for myself by watching the original too soon beforehand?

I figured I could probably manage to follow the plot. Since watching The Hitman‘s Wife’s Bodyguard, I have seen many terrible reviews and a Not Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and I have no idea what was up those critics’ butts, because I thought it was swell!

I mean, truthfully, you do have to have a fairly strong stomach for extreme violence with everybody getting shot and killed all the time, every single second, but this occurs in a movie that is a comedy, so you really have to view it as a cartoon. A very very violent cartoon with loads of blood and people getting shot, but a cartoon nonetheless.

I love Ryan Reynolds wholeheartedly, the movie I’m looking forward to most this summer is Free Guy (which I keep thinking is called John Somebody instead, it is not a memorable title) and I really want them to stop dropping new trailers for it, because I don’t want to see any more of the plot. I’m going to see it, you sold me, now stop spoiling it!

Ryan Reynolds has a range as an actor that pretty much runs the gamut from A to B, to quote Dorothy Parker. He has one character that he plays, but here’s the thing, I love that character and it fits in many different situations. I will be perfectly happy to watch Ryan Reynolds play that character in any movie you name. Possibly not Schindler’s List, but most other movies.

The Hitman‘s Wife’s Bodyguard stars the aforementioned Ryan Reynolds as Michael the Bodyguard, Samuel L Jackson as Darius the Hitman, and Salma Hayek as Sonia the Wife, all constantly swearing, arguing, shooting people, and being hilarious. There isn’t a lot better than that in a summer action flick, particularly when any Fast and Furious film is off the table. It starts with Michael at the psychiatrist, talking about how Darius ruined his life and how he no longer has his bodyguard license, and she tells him to go vacation in Italy, no bodyguarding, no guns. So he goes, and is tracked down by Sonia, who tells him that Darius was kidnapped and he told her to get Michael to rescue him! Turns out, when they find him, he meant anyone BUT Michael, but at that point it is too late, because they are all tangled up in a scheme by an American Interpol agent to take down Greek billionaire villain Antonio Banderas’s plot to punish Europe for putting sanctions on Greece.

Antonio Banderas’s Greek accent is exactly as convincing as Sean Connery’s Russian accent in The Hunt for Red October, in that it is completely Spanish with no hint of Greek, but that works perfectly with the cartoony nature of the film. The revelation in the movie is Salma Hayek, mostly because the script doesn’t sideline her or make her be the serious grownup while the men are all “boys will be boys.” She is given the opportunity to swear and scream and be good at some things and terrible at others, she gets to talk loudly about her private parts in a bus full of nuns, I’m pretty sure she had the time of her life.The chemistry is terrific between all three leads, but I particularly love the combination of Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L Jackson, who play off of each other gloriously.Just see the movie. And if you don’t care for violence in films, just say to yourself two things:

1.It is pretend, nobody really died.

2. Look at how many stunt performers got to feed their families! Isn’t that great? You don’t want stunt performers to starve, do you? DO YOU? Well then.

Kymm Zuckert is an actor/writer/native Angelino. When Kymm was a child, her parents would take her to see anything, which means that sometimes she will see a film today and say, “I saw that when I was eight, I don’t remember any of that inappropriate sex stuff!” Check out her entire 365 day blog @ https://365filmsin365days.movie.blog

Craig Hammill